Wretch Vs World

[Wretch]

In a vain attempt to actually validate my prescence here at CoDBoards, I present to you a service I once offered at GTABoards, at great personal cost to myself. All you pathetic little specks who have even the slightest inclination of starting a "Flame me please" thread, all you sick f**ks who need to be insulted on a regular basis to satiate some inner masochistic drive, all you stupid ****wits who can't get it through your heads that bad attention isn't good attention, Colonel-Commissar Wretch bids you to enter the most sarcastic bunker on the battlefield and report for your supercilious much-needed dressing-down.

If you want to be flamed for one of the myriad reasons that prats do, present yourself here and provoke me, and I will do what I can to cater to your psychological deficiency-born hankerin' for a spankerin'.

The rules of this thread are simple; what I say goes in here, and that includes people. I reserve the right to refuse to flame anyone who requests it, to flame anyone without provocation, to viciously and abusively edit your posts (which I may well do if you annoy me enough), and to generally rule it with the proverbial iron fist.

Also, as a result of lessons learned on GTABoards, I reserve the right to close this thread at any time. There's only so much "OMG FLAEM ME!!1" one Wretch can take before he gets sick of it.

Now serving Degenerate #1.

[Krelian]

Originally posted by Wretch@Dec 22 2003, 06:31 AM
Now serving Degenerate #1.
you called? :lol:

in other words, OMG PREPEAR 4 FLAMMING!1!!11!!11!!

[genesis]

1337 flamin's finally here :tup:





....walks out of the door.

[Wretch]

Jman, get back in that closet. It's not time for you to come out yet. ;)

deLogic, just scurry on away, you incompetent excuse for an administrator. Go back to proofreading Basic for preschoolers.

*sigh*

Still waiting for Degenerate #1.

[Legendary_Soldier]

I iz 1337 gedenerate. Lesbo fight. Ro we mak frenz an kizz. BUT SECKS TO ALL!


NOTE: This is just to help Wretch get off on his spree. Bye.

[Kingox]

You watch, this'll get like a bajillion replies, and not one person'll reply to Wretch vs World... Ill post in here dude, what would yo ulike me to say?

[Esperanto_Boy]

Nothing. Go away.

[Ginger]

What a bunch of pu$$y's. :rolleyes:



Okay Wretch, thou frothy dismal-dreaming flax-wench!

You’re a regressive life form that, had your mother possessed psychic powers, she would have given your father a blowjob that night instead of spreading her legs... a$$uming she knew which of her clients impregnated her. It is my profound wish that you shall turn into a frog; a stork eat you, and **** you from a 500 meter height, you pitiful sideshow freak.

:mellow:

I love you.

[Wretch]

What a surprise. I leave the gate open for a few hours while I go out, and when I come back, the spaz brigade have started up a squat on my property.

Alright, one at a time, then.

For f**k's sake Ledge, your nose couldn't be any browner if you went bobbing for apples in your turd-burgled boxer shorts. If you could just pry your pustule-pocked lips from my a$$ for long enough to form them into a girlish little pout for me, I'll take great pleasure in slap the ****e from your vacant little face. You're in dire need of a spine transplant, you yellow-bellied pseudo-Frenchman. Get the he|| out of here.

I hear a baby wailing, ox. You'd better go dig your remedial little gang out of whatever pothole they've spazzed their way into this time. Never before have I seen so many idiots, mental midgets, fools and prats assembled under one banner, with the possible (but only marginal) exception of the Diablos. Whenever your gang has a meeting, the collective combined aura of imbecility is enough to trigger total synaptic deadening in all sentient life for miles around, plunging every man, woman and child into dumbass-induced comas, and dropping IQs faster than a hot teapot. When you and all your miserable spawnlings have finally expired your last fetid breaths, and the earth is once more untainted by the foul canker of your prescence, the average intelligence of all life on earth will triple.

EB, four words: remember the Ledge incident.

And as for you, Ginger, you... you...

um...

... uh, stupid Canadian b*tch. I am agnostic, but many nights I lie awake screaming hoarsely in hope that a God does watch over us, so that he could forsake you and all your putrescent kin, and that His divine cathartic fire may soon cleanse every misconceived iota of your being from existence with righteous fury and indignation at this perversion of His gift of life. The deepest circle of He|| would be a lenience for beasts such as ye.

I love you too, honey.

[Ginger]

Thou verbiage is more inflated than your father’s blow-up doll of Denis Rodman, you grandma-humping gimp. How about I tie your testicles to a pair of t-bone steaks, tie those around your ankles, tar, feather and beat your Shakespearean a$$ with a crowbar, then let a pack of rabid hungry dogs chase your weak a$$ through the gauntlet consisting of the entire band of Earth, Wind and Fire armed with rubber chickens and zulu spears.

Now, I advise you to split like your drawbridge asscheeks for an on coming gang of drunken sailors, because the only thing your throwing around here is a hissy fit, Pippy.




Great shoes! :tup:

[Wretch]

Oh, I do so apologise, you aphasic troglodyte. Perhaps I should endeavour to translate each scathing witticism of mine into a inarticulate grunts and mumblings, that you may better comprehend them? Though still I fear that you would retain your drooling vapid stare as your crabapple cranium struggles vainly to decipher the enigmas of civilised language. Return to the caves from whence you crawled, neanderthal, and change your wolfhide smock. The stench is quite unbearable, although I suppose you'd be used to it by now.



Thanks! I love what you've done with your hair. Where'd you get that colour? It's so you!

[[BoB] Freak-killah]

Love is in the air ;)

^_^ *smells*

OMG WAIT GINGER ARE YOU MALE OR FEMALE?

[Wretch]

Who rattled your cage?

[Ginger]

That's not love, that's Wretch. ^_^ Here's a gasmask.

Originally posted by Wretch
Perhaps I should endeavour to translate each scathing witticism of mine into a inarticulate grunts and mumblings, that you may better comprehend them?
Stop stroking yourself for a second and let me offer you a clue: Sitting around talking about how fabulously intelligent, witty, and deserving of praise you are, does not make it the truth. Saying it frequently will not make more people believe it, although you have obviously gotten certain people to eat this line of bull****. However, those of us not in the final demented stages of syphilis aren’t about to step up to the trough, sweets.

Now, let it be known that if you ever waste my precious time again with another one of your pompous, desperate cries for attention, I will uppercut your retractable jaw so hard your head snaps backward and the tracheotomy hole in your throat spits out rainbow flavoured M&Ms like the gayest pez dispenser ever made. If you'll excuse me, Skippy, I've got places to be, things to do, and people to torture mercilessly, so I'll let you return to performing analingus on your loose bowelled grandmother.



Thanks! A girl never tells! By the way, have you been on vacation? Loving the tan!

[[BoB] Freak-killah]

Originally posted by Ginger@Dec 23 2003, 08:15 PM
That's not love, that's Wretch. ^_^ Here's a gasmask.


Lol :lol:

[Wretch]

Freaky, do the world a favour and go sleep on train-tracks. kthx.

(And by the way, yes, she is a girl)

Now...

Stop stroking yourself for a second and let me offer you a clue: Sitting around talking about how fabulously intelligent, witty, and deserving of praise you are, does not make it the truth. Saying it frequently will not make more people believe it, although you have obviously gotten certain people to eat this line of bull****. However, those of us not in the final demented stages of syphilis aren’t about to step up to the trough, sweets.

Now, let it be known that if you ever waste my precious time again with another one of your pompous, desperate cries for attention, I will uppercut your retractable jaw so hard your head snaps backward and the tracheotomy hole in your throat spits out rainbow flavoured M&Ms like the gayest pez dispenser ever made. If you'll excuse me, Skippy, I've got places to be, things to do, and people to torture mercilessly, so I'll let you return to performing analingus on your loose bowelled grandmother.
Well whup-de-*****, so I blew my own trumpet a little. The alternative would have been to wait until the dusty little cogwheels in that dented head of yours click around to the point where you realise how completely and utterly superior I am to you in every way conceivable, and you fall to your knees (a position I'm sure you're more than familiar with) and weep in a tearful mixture of awe, shame, and humility, before seeking to redeem your slight against your betters by any means possible. The truth of the matter is, my menstruating madam, that I am so far above you on the scale of awesomeness that should I zip down my flies and take a p*ss on you, it would have evaporated in the air far before it plummeted down to your level, deep in the bowels of Single-Cellville. I state my superiority not as a boast, but as a simple means of putting scum like you in their rightful place; cleaning my shoes.

Scurry on off, taffer.

Aw, you noticed! :blush: Yeah, I spent a few weeks on the beach, you know. Met some pretty girls, but none of them have a patch on you, hun. Hey, what do you say to a drink later?

[Ginger]

While it's admirable that you throw and flail your wrists around in the face of certain ownership, it's nonetheless futile, and very unbecoming.

Well whup-de-*****, so I blew my own trumpet a little. The alternative would have been to wait until the dusty little cogwheels in that dented head of yours click around to the point where you realise how completely and utterly superior I am to you in every way conceivable, and you fall to your knees (a position I'm sure you're more than familiar with) and weep in a tearful mixture of awe, shame, and humility, before seeking to redeem your slight against your betters by any means possible. The truth of the matter is, my menstruating madam, that I am so far above you on the scale of awesomeness that should I zip down my flies and take a p*ss on you, it would have evaporated in the air far before it plummeted down to your level, deep in the bowels of Single-Cellville. I state my superiority not as a boast, but as a simple means of putting scum like you in their rightful place; cleaning my shoes.

What colour is the sky in your world, idiot?

Perhaps instead of waving your gauzed Popsicle sticks all about while prancing the Carlton into a thread where I’ve already jack-hammered 98 percent of you into a Ziploc colostomy bag, you should just genuflect atop your double jointed knees and concede defeat by gasping out "La Vida Loca" like a winded Ricky Martin. Because frankly, if you're going to try and block every fist with your c*m-stained glow-in-the-dark retainer, I'll be happy to spread you like a bar of Land O' Lakes with a Butterfly knife and gut you like a 5 pound rainbow trout so that I may later carve you out with decorative cookie cutters while you writhe around like an epileptic doing the Electric Slide.

I suggest you admit defeat and wait for your next soon-to-be disapointed customer to challenge you, simply out of morbid curiosity.


Aw, shucks! Mkay, meet me in the staff bar... 9-ish.

[Agent n00b f00]

What she said!
/me too flame

[Wretch]

:mellow: Can't believe I missed this...

Forgive me if I'm less than willing to prostrate myself at your feet just yet, Ginger, but it's been a tenet of mine never to bow down to something that belongs under a rock.

I see lots of allusions to physical violence here, Ginger, but it's quite remarkable how, despite your constant "Grr, just you wait!" attitude, nothing seriously painful has happened to me in the several days since you waltzed in here and decided to play pin the L-plate on your forehead, apart from the sheer mental anguish caused by having to run my eyes over these paragraphs of distilled dumbkopfery. Great show of fluffing up your breast like a bird, in the hopes that it'll make you seem more dangerous or fearsome, but hey, fluffing is what fluffers do, right?

So, anytime you're ready, I'll be sat here waiting for you to waddle on over the Atlantic and finally carry out all these dire threats on my supercilious person, because otherwise all you're accomplishing is making yourself seem even more self-inflated at your supposedly cunning mix of candy bar names and dancing styles. Throwing together all the food products and tanzen-pranzens in the world won't change the fact that all you ever actually seem to say here is "Quiet or I'll say that I'll hurt you". This kind of thing is supposed to be offensive, not inadvertently hilarious when all the other person can do is tell you how much they're going to maim you.

Are you quite finished, ma'am?


@f00: Hi, nice to see ya. :tup:



Sure, sounds great to me. Catch you later!

[Wafflestomper]

Wretch, why is it you get such intense erotic pleasure from internet arguments?

Ginger, you ***** dead canines.

Agent n00b f00 you smell like old chicken.

Wintergreen you look like a Telletubby.

Recluse you have bad breath.

jman you are a buttface.

[/suicide]

[Wretch]

To answer your question, Wafflestomper (I like your SN :tup:), I actually don't get much pleasure from internet arguments. In fact I get very little, if any. That is why this service is provided at extreme personal expense. Because I despise this base form of pointless jibing immensely, but still I s*ck it up and drive on in the hopes that my contribution will somehow make the world a better place by proving to the illiterate and frankly stupid masses like Splimmy and the Flame-Me-Plz crowd how truly f**king pathetic they are, to hopefully destroy all faith and security in themselves, and prevent them from propagating this flaming trend. To say I do this unpleasurable task out of love would be a complete lie, so let's just say I do it out of hate.

On a more firey note, f**k you, plz.

[Ginger]

I threaded that semen slathered soundbite backwards into my tape player in the hopes of finding a subliminal Bing Crosby flame buried somewhere in that decaying dollop of *****, but after listening to it for about five minutes, I've decided that the only way you could ever generate heat is if I strung you up with Christmas lights a week ago and hipthrusted you headfirst into an electrical socket to start the season's greetings off with a bang.

I see lots of allusions to physical violence here, Ginger, but it's quite remarkable how, despite your constant "Grr, just you wait!" attitude, nothing seriously painful has happened to me in the several days since you waltzed in here (…blah blah blah...)

Then I don’t think you quite get the point, Skipper. But then again, I suppose it takes you a while to grasp things that aren’t male genitals.


Now, as I’m getting about half as much pleasure out of this than you are, let us make like your 8th grade hair-do and part because frankly, I'm tired, and much less interested than I was a few days ago when I entered your thread out of sheer curiosity.


I still love you! :blush:

[Krelian]

Originally posted by Wafflestomper@Dec 30 2003, 10:04 AM
jman you are a buttface.
a buttface? a buttface?!

weee, i'm a buttface!

*prances around with glee*

[Ginger]

Can I be a buttface too!? :w00t:

[Krelian]

as long as i can be a dead canine :tweet:

[Agent n00b f00]

Originally posted by Wafflestomper@Dec 30 2003, 03:04 PM

Agent n00b f00 you smell like old chicken.

[/suicide]
I must admit that's the first time I've heard that one and since you're already dead I won't bother.

[Wafflestomper]

Originally posted by jman@Dec 30 2003, 12:12 PM
as long as i can be a dead canine :tweet:
That was slick. :lol:

Ginger: Sure! We're all equally buttfaced!

Agent still reeks of spoiled fowl.

I'm assuming Recluse is away brushing his rank teeth, and Wintergreen is wallowing in self-pity due to the fact his Teletubby-like physique has been exposed.

Shouldn't I be flamed by now?

[Ginger]

Originally posted by Wafflestomper@Jan 1 2004, 01:48 AM
Shouldn't I be flamed by now?
Probably, but we're all lazy f**ks. ;)

[Recluse]

Wafflegomer you dirty slutmonkey, the only reason my breath reeks is because I've been chewing on your fetid rotting carcass.

I mean, really, what kind of name is AwfulFluffer anyway?

I'll never forgive you for not putting me in the buttface category, you scaly troglodyte. :angry:

[Jardel]

You all s*ck.

That is all.

[Kingox]

Originally posted by Ginger+Jan 1 2004, 01:49 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Ginger @ Jan 1 2004, 01:49 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Wafflestomper@Jan 1 2004, 01:48 AM
Shouldn't I be flamed by now?
Probably, but we're all lazy f**ks. ;) [/b][/quote]
.......

Wafflegomer you dirty slutmonkey, the only reason my breath reeks is because I've been chewing on your fetid rotting carcass.

I mean, really, what kind of name is AwfulFluffer anyway?

I'll never forgive you for not putting me in the buttface category, you scaly troglodyte. :angry: Maybe not :D