The Experience Thread.

[Oshiri]

There is a wealth of knowledge on this planet, one that's always changing, that everyone is part of and has access too.. can be perverted, abused, and manipulated. Yet it is the pinnacle of Human achievement... And it's not Wikipedia.

It is people, our experiences and such build who we are, and I realised after looking at the "Half-Term begins" thread that we on this board are just spilling with life stories and lessons learnt.. So I've created this thread..

I'd like this thread to go a long way. Keep it clean (unless your story demands details that some may find offensive, please blunt them down for a younger audience), moderate your speech, and DO NOT let this turn into a flame war!
With any luck, we'll create a well of experience that people may draw advice and lessons from.

Actually, can a mod move this to the War Zone please? It'll probably get desecrated if it's in The Barracks..

I'd like to start you all off with something I've learnt from life, at the tender age of 16..

I'm taking my GCSEs in May or something, after 2 years of very little work. Over this half term alone, I must do 4 pieces of coursework (like homework, but it counts towards final exam mark), learn most of the japanese language, and do LOTS of revision.

What you do now, you don't have to do later.

If I'd done my work on time, stayed focused, etc, for the last 2 years, I'd be doing leisurely revision... but..

People will not help you.

I've uninstalled most of my games, and I now get all of my homework done before I go anywhere near the laptop.. but..

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

This is SO TRUE. But all play and no work makes Jack a lazy, poor, and unhappy boy..

Guess my message is:

Necessary first, then the unnecessary.

I'm particularly looking at people like MR, who always seem to have a story that leaves me thinking :) (Btw, Thanks a bunch buddy, I don't think I ever thanked you properly for your help before)

[MidnightRider]

I think Osh has a good idea here. We all know im just about as nuts as they come. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt andthe coffee cup. I have done some wild stuff in my life, some to the good, most to the bad, point is this: you have your own choices to make, and no one can make them for you. It never hurts to have a lil help along the way thou. Often times its hard to see the root of the porb when you are right on top of it. Outside, uninvolved input can make the world of a diff. Credit to osh for putting forth his thoughts w/o fear of retrobution. This is what its about. The only person that is gonna stand up for you is you. No matter what keep your head up, after all there is no sin in being proud of who you are, be it if you grew up as trailer trash, or a rich kid wanting for nothing. Life is yours, so live it.

[BritishBulldog1]

How true MR's words are. At the end of the day, the only person you can truely trust - is you. I had two employee's who had worked for me for over 6 years each. One was in the same hospital as my wife when they both gave birth, so that was a 16 year friendship. The other was my son inlaw, (estranged from my daughter). Through me, he was trained from having no skill (other than being able to drive a tank) to being a 1st class telecoms engineer.

Due to various problems my end, I entrusted them with my business. They subsequently took it over completely and there is nowt I can do to get it back. I thought I could trust these two with my life. How wrong can you be.

The moral is, you cannot trust anyone, no matter how well you think you know them. Everyone has a price and can be persuaded to do something you would have thought to be unthinkable.

BB1

[Alpha_Pasta]

(Moved to the warzone).

Excellent posts Osh, MR and BB1.

[Savage]

In life its the opportunities in life that count, make the most of them. Also with girls be yourself. If they dont like u for who u are. Then you shouldnt be with them. Also try and find out about them and what they lik etc. Rather then just make some lame comment. Listen to them. It works :P. Also make friends with as many people as possible because ul never know who they know or what they grow up to be.

[BritishBulldog1]

In life, everyone is a salesman. To make friends, you have to "sell" yourself to them, via your personality. All salesmen are taught that they have two ears and one mouth. They should be used in that proportion - listen twice as much as you talk. Show interest in the other person and what they do.

To generate a conversation, learn how to use open ended questions and closed questions. A closed question will generate a yes or no answer. An open ended question will invoke a more elaborate reply.

"Did you like that film?" will generate a yes or no

"What did you think of that film?" encourages a more lengthy reply.

There are many more methods, that is just two of them.

BB1

[Oshiri]

Savage has a point; be nice to everyone, you never know when you'll need them, or how it'll affect you.

About 6 years ago, some kid threw an acorn at my face, my mum saw his mum, and there was some general wordly warfare.
That kid's mum recently needed something done in hospital; my mum works there, and she refused (she's a very good radiographer or something along those lines), so the woman ended up with a trainee and someone else less experienced.

So it might not even be you who needs the help.


P.S. I'm so glad to see the reaction to this! It's really something to see people coming together (no innuendo there, i swear).
P.P.S MR's phrase "Always keep your head up" is so, so incredible.. It's helped me more than once, and himself also. I'll let him elaborate on the point if he wants, but it is a helluva mantra.

[MidnightRider]

The idea behind "Keep your head up" is this. Always walk tall. Always look to where your going. Always let other around you know you are proud of who you are. You cant do these things with your eyes on your toes. No matter what has happend before, or what is to come, keep your head up. You would be so suprised how much this can affect your line of thoughts and additued towards anything.

Look around you today as you go to school, work, or even the store. How many ppl do you see looking down, or eyes glued to the floor just a few feet infront of them? How does that look to you? If you walk with your head high and your eyes foward it will change your view of a lot of things.

Always keep your head up.

[EmoMAN321]

i dont have any wisdom but im sure to use all this advice!

pity you already lost your chance


and all this started fromm my thread!!

good stuff :D

[Oshiri]

I'm sure you do have at least some advice to give :)

[relax 1.0]

I heard a very good piece of advice the other day.

Be kind to people on your way up...because you may meet them again on your way down.

[MidnightRider]

I have heard something like that relax. "Be careful who you step on on the way up, as you may pass you on the way down.

Emokid i am sure you have something to offer, myself at least have lived a 1000 lives in just this one, but even so i would be willing to bet there something you have done that i have not. As Osh started this thread, and he being younger than i, he has taught me something. Thou i may have given him some wisdom of mine (glad it worked for you too bud) he has returned that wisdom to me. Even the young have something to offer us that have seen a few things and been round the block a few times. So emokid i would be willing to bet you have something to say here.

If i guess Osh intentions right, its not about who knows more, or who has seen more, its about passing on life exp to the next in hopes that it might serve you better than it served me in my time.

[EmoMAN321]

I'm sure you do have at least some advice to give :)

hmm how about don't eat yellow snow or don't pee in the wind

i learnt never to tell anyone your most deepest secrets because one day you will regret it

[MidnightRider]

Oh come now emokid, surely you can tell me something i dont know. We all know not to eat yellow snow, or piss in the wind.

But what about what you have told us. I take it you have given up your darkest secrets and been burnt buy doing so. I wont pry and ask you to tell us, but surely that is wisdom in itself.

[relax 1.0]

Sometimes the best piece of advice is telling others about your experiences.

[Savage]

If i guess Osh intentions right, its not about who knows more, or who has seen more, its about passing on life exp to the next in hopes that it might serve you better than it served me in my time.

Agreed, Its not about who has seen more its about exp. We have all seen something and done something different to each other. It helps to listen to people who have done something that you havent so that way if you happen to be in a similar sitution to them you might have some idea about whats going on or wats goin to happen.

[Alpha_Pasta]

I'm taking my GCSEs in May or something, after 2 years of very little work. Over this half term alone, I must do 4 pieces of coursework (like homework, but it counts towards final exam mark), learn most of the japanese language, and do LOTS of revision.

What you do now, you don't have to do later.

If I'd done my work on time, stayed focused, etc, for the last 2 years, I'd be doing leisurely revision... but..

People will not help you.

I've uninstalled most of my games, and I now get all of my homework done before I go anywhere near the laptop.. but..

With that attitude you deserve, and will end up going a long way Osh.

My message would be what was given earlier, stand up and be counted for. Never let yourself be bullied or put down by others. Life is a wonderful thing, make sure you all live it.

[Savage]

im sure we shal see his name in lights in the future

[Oshiri]

If i guess Osh intentions right, its not about who knows more, or who has seen more, its about passing on life exp to the next in hopes that it might serve you better than it served me in my time.

Spot on buddy :)


Hehe thanks guys.. Kinda flattering that you say that:icon_redface:

Just thought.. this'd make a great theme for a website.. some kind of wiki based project.. If anyone is willing to participate in this, PM me or something? We'll need webdesigners, graphic designers, people with vision, and people willing to put time in to moderate it.. It's only in the beginning stages of conception right now.. So the design and construction can wait. But anyone who'd like to participate in this little vision of mine are welcome.. Just bring your experiences, your dreams.. Anything you can contribute..

[MidnightRider]

Id like to help you Osh, i dont know jack about web design but im pretty handy with a bat lol
really thou id be happy to give you a hand.

[Alpha_Pasta]

Count me in. Sounds great.

[Oshiri]

Sounds excellent! I've PMd you both. Thanks for the interest!

If anyone else is interested in this project, either post here, or contact me through PM, MSN (eddis@hotmail.co.uk) or xfire (oshiri9445)

[EmoMAN321]

aherm i wouldnt mind joining in

only because i get lonely sometimes :(

[Oshiri]

You're welcome to help :)

[MidnightRider]

Just to add a lil humor to this thread i thought i would share something that totaly blew me away one day. Years ago when I was at my grandmothers funeral and it was something i took very hard. So anyway i am doing my best to keep my composure when i notice my lil nephew going over to this cooler they had full of soda pop and other such drinks. I watched as Ray took one pop out and stuck it in his pocket, then take another one out and stick that one in his pocket. Ray then tried to get a 3rd one in but it wouldnt fit.

I watched with a growing smile on my face as he then very craftly moved amongst the ppl there the way small children can with out being noticed, jacket drooping to one side from the weight of 2 cans of pop in it, and he ended up at the snack table. He began to first stuff one snack in his mouth, then stuff one in the other pocket, and then stick one in his mouth again.

I was pretty fasinated buy this in my grief and Ray must have felt me stairing at him cuz he turned and looked at me, saw me watching him and knew hed been had. Without even batting any eye my then 6 yr old nephew said "You know, when there is free food, you have to stock up."

I couldnt help but laugh. It was the damndest thing. Perhaps it struck me as funny cuz of what was going on, and it may not have been so funny in another place and time. That is the point thou, that was one of the darkest days of my life and even then the actions of a 6 yr old had forever put a warm glow on it that brings a smile to my face every time.

I used to joke when ppl told me to look at the bright side and say "I looked at the bright side once and went blind." That day thou i learned that even when life seems its worst, and things feel the darkest, life has a way of showing you that like all things it will pass.

[Oshiri]

Man, you've always got amazing true-life stories.. Ever considered writing a book? I reckon it'd be pretty popular.

[MidnightRider]

Naa man, no many would want to read about my nutty life. I done and seen some crazy things, im not the only one to have done so. Its just my perspective on things that gives it life.

[Oshiri]

Ah ok.. i suppose you can always write about your experiences in the project ;)

[MidnightRider]

Im happy to share anything i know, how else do we learn and grow.

[Oshiri]

And therein lieth the philosophy behind this thread.

[Alpha_Pasta]

You like philosophy don't you Osh?

[Oshiri]

i think a lot.. but other than that i'd say not ;P

[MidnightRider]

nothing wrong with philosophy, bit to much to put my mind around thou.

[Oshiri]

yeah, like i said, i'm not into metaphysical theorisms or w/e they classify thinking about stuff as.. but i like to take a proper look at things.

[Savage]

I used to joke when ppl told me to look at the bright side and say "I looked at the bright side once and went blind." That day thou i learned that even when life seems its worst, and things feel the darkest, life has a way of showing you that like all things it will pass.

Happniess can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light

[MidnightRider]

sometimes when things are the darkest, its when we see the clearest.

[Alpha_Pasta]

yeah, like i said, i'm not into metaphysical theorisms or w/e they classify thinking about stuff as.. but i like to take a proper look at things.

Oh. Philosophy is great, I was thinking about studying it in University.

[Oshiri]

Oh.. Nah.. I never got offered it at GCSE.

[Mig]

Hey guys, cool thread Osh. MR sent me a message about it.

I don't mind helping. However, you have to decide to what extent you want to make this.

For example, probably the most advanced way we could create this is using a Wiki. Get the software, install it, set it up and then people post away on the Wiki.

However, that will require a proper domain name (which needs to be bought and maintained), with a database. It is then not exactly a simple task.

Whatever you decide to do, if you want people to post their own things, and then for someone to be able to moderate, you are going to have to have a database, and someone who knows what they're doing (at least a tiny bit).

If you don't find PHP templates which someone has already built for doing that kind of thing, then you are going to have to make them yourself.

So, unless someone knows and wants to do the large job of the PHP and MySQL stuff, a possible short term solution would be to set up a simple, free web site somewhere, and then create template HTML pages into which an admin can put posts.

Of course, that would then mean people have to email the admin with submissions.

If you wanted the HTML templates built I don't mind doing that if you need some help.

[Oshiri]

wiki would probably be best for a large scale site.. but that'd require lots of money..

[EmoMAN321]

Oh come now emokid, surely you can tell me something i dont know. We all know not to eat yellow snow, or piss in the wind.

But what about what you have told us. I take it you have given up your darkest secrets and been burnt buy doing so. I wont pry and ask you to tell us, but surely that is wisdom in itself.


wellll no

but i found out not to piss in the wind and not to eat yellow snow the hard way

:|

[Alpha_Pasta]

And i've found out leaves don't taste very nice.

[Mig]

wiki would probably be best for a large scale site.. but that'd require lots of money..
Wiki's are free. It's hosting the site which would cost you. Unless that's what you meant.

Standard HTML is the only thing you can do if you want it free.

[MidnightRider]

Seeing as how this thread has been pretty silent lately i thought i might add some more of my real life exp to it. I will start with the moral as its really that i want to get across.

All my life i have been short changed, nohting was ever handed to me and everything i ever got i had to fight tooth and nail for, but all that time i did my best to be respectful to those that showed me respect. To avoid burning the bridges i have crossed, as who knows we you may have to go back. Everyone makes mistakes, its how we learn form them and go on that make us a better person. How we stand up to the trials of life is the measure of our character . So my point is 2 fold with this story. On the one side, always watch out for who you burn, as it may come back someday to burn you. On the other side always remain honest and true to yourself, always keep a clear view of things.

So my story begins like this. My ex-wife and i split up sometime last year, she left me for a friend of mine, trouble was she didnt bother to tell me untill after they did the dirty. Although i was very tempted to kick the **** ouf of this fool, i knew in the end it would only hurt me more. I had known this guy for a year or so. Anyway long story longer, they hooked up moved in together and put my house up for sale (i can thank the judge for that), i was passed by and in turn moved on. It was a serious trial for me those 1st few months, but things get better. Thanks to the help of some very very good friends of mine i was able to get back on my feet quickly. More inportantly they helped me keep my sanity.

So since last Monday i have been wroking 5am to 5 pm 7 days in a row.trying to get one of our large accounts out the door by the deadline. I get a phone call on Sunday from my ex. In the past i would let it ring and let the answering machine pick it up as talking to her would almost push me past my limits. Put my anger passed and faded with time. This time i answered the phone to the sound of my ex crying her eyes out. I have yet to find out what went on bettween them, and dont really care, regardles she asks me for help.

She wants me to go to our old house and change the code to the garage door opener. She tells me she is moveing back into her (my) house. Being the good natured person i have grow to become i offer the use of my truck to help move her stuff (after all my boys live with her every other week). Knowing my ex, she has a lot of stuff, it will take more than just my truck to move it all in one night. Seeing as how i was beat to start with from work i didnt want to spend 3 days moveing all her ****.

So we rented a U-Haul and she called her brothers up to come help. Her brothers and i have known eachother for ever and they were highly pissed at my ex when she left me. They werent going to come help till they found that i was there loading her stuff into a truck on my own. They told me i was the last person that should be there helping her after what happend. So myself and two of her brothers spent till 3 in the morning loading her ****, moveing it and unloading it. I still had to go into work at 5 am the next day, and took off early that day to help.

Its now 3 am and everything is unloaded and i am walking (more like limping) out to my truck to go back to my apt, take a shower, and maybe get 30 or 45 mins of sleep. On my way out my ex catches up to me before i get in the truck. She askes me if im tired (WTF do you think?!?). I tell her that i am, so thats when she offers for me to stay there. "Its late," she says "I made a mistake and im sorry. We can lay a mattress down and you can go to work from here."

Part of me wants to fly. All that time i was so pissed off, going to bed at night on my friends couch thinking "I will wake up tomorrow and it will all have been a bad dream." But when tomorrow came, it was still the same bad dream. Now here it is, a chance to have my home back, my family back, the happy life i had.

The other part of me, the dark person i was in my youth, wanted to reply with the longest string of obscenities i could think of.

At that point all i could think to say was "Its alot late, and i think that would be a bad idea." Im not sure if she got them meaning behind my statement or not. Driveing away that morning was the second hardest thing i have ever done in my life, but in the end all i really could do was drive away. After all, it would never be the same. I cant have my home and family back, to much has passed for that now.

So again the moral of my story is: On the one side, always watch out for who you burn, as it may come back someday to burn you. On the other side always remain honest and true to yourself, always keep a clear view of things.

[BritishBulldog1]

How our lives mirror each other's MR. My ex did the dirty on me on a number of occassions, including a close friend, who ended up confessing to me and crying his eyes out. Like your ex, she realised her mistake and wanted me back, but like you, too much has passed. Now, 30 years later, she has made an approach again wtf!! I very rarely close doors tight and lock them, figuratively speaking, but this case is an exception.

BB1

[MidnightRider]

As im sure you know well enough BB closeing doors can be a hard thing to do, and often unwise, but sometimes its for the best. There is never a good reason to set yourself up for disapointment.

All you younger unmarried guys here on the boards, make very sure you have the right one before you go and marry her. This is in no way ment to a woman bash. There are useless men out there too. As the saying goes "it takes two to tango". Take it from one who knows be very careful about who you date. You might think you know someone, you might think "that will never happen, he/she would never do that", but you never can tell.

[BritishBulldog1]

Your words are wise MR, BUT, yes, there is a big but, believe it or not. I knew I was going to marry my 2nd wife the minute I first saw her and that was before we had even spoken, let alone been introduced. We have been married now for 27.5 years and we courted for 3. Sometimes, things are just meant to be.

BB1

[MidnightRider]

This is true, there is always that chance encounter. Credit to you and your good fortune. My point was only to be sure and look out for whats important to you.

[relax 1.0]

I always look out for what is important to me.

MR - I know I have found the right girl to marry. We have been together for 2 years (since we was 14) and we both feel that if anything we should get married in our early 20's. Yeah - that may seem young, but we would have been together for about 8 years by then. If I felt like this relationship was not going to work, then I wouldn't waste my time and hurt myself and her.

I feel that I have been blssed with my girlfriend. I cherish every moment we are together - and when we are not - I can't wait until the moment I see her.

Hopefully, nothing will step in our path. And the things that do - we can just brush aside and get on with life.

I had a neighbour a few years ago, he was 98 when he died and from China. He told me something that I have written on a piece of paper that I take with me everywhere.

"You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair"

[Alpha_Pasta]

I always look out for what is important to me.

MR - I know I have found the right girl to marry. We have been together for 2 years (since we was 14) and we both feel that if anything we should get married in our early 20's. Yeah - that may seem young, but we would have been together for about 8 years by then. If I felt like this relationship was not going to work, then I wouldn't waste my time and hurt myself and her.

I feel that I have been blssed with my girlfriend. I cherish every moment we are together - and when we are not - I can't wait until the moment I see her.

Hopefully, nothing will step in our path. And the things that do - we can just brush aside and get on with life.

I had a neighbour a few years ago, he was 98 when he died and from China. He told me something that I have written on a piece of paper that I take with me everywhere.

"You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair"


I don't think anybody should have any problem with marrying at that age - many do it nowadays. I think age should be measured in how long you've been with the person - not how old in years you are...

[Savage]

Wow man thats pretty powerful. First off i would like to say that though i love my girlfriend very much i doubt il end up marrying her and dont think i want to anyway. Things change over time, unfore seen things happen. I ask you Midnight as you are still young wether you would ever get married again after what has happened to you.

"Time heals all wounds, and time wounds all heals"

[BritishBulldog1]

"You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair"

What a powerful statement that is and so very very true.

BB1

[MidnightRider]

I always look out for what is important to me.

MR - I know I have found the right girl to marry. We have been together for 2 years (since we was 14) and we both feel that if anything we should get married in our early 20's. Yeah - that may seem young, but we would have been together for about 8 years by then. If I felt like this relationship was not going to work, then I wouldn't waste my time and hurt myself and her.

I feel that I have been blssed with my girlfriend. I cherish every moment we are together - and when we are not - I can't wait until the moment I see her.

Hopefully, nothing will step in our path. And the things that do - we can just brush aside and get on with life.

I had a neighbour a few years ago, he was 98 when he died and from China. He told me something that I have written on a piece of paper that I take with me everywhere.

My hat is off to you then relax, and all the very best to you and your woman. I expect an invite to the marrage, best place to pick up women, and there is free beer }: P

"You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair"

Very powerful indeed.

Sav, i really cant answer that at this time in my life. If i found someone, and i knew, i mean really knew in my heart, she was the one, then prob so yes. As for now there is no way i would rush into things like i did before. I always like to say "If things were different, then things would be different."

Alpha, i have no probs with whatever age a person decieds to marry, myslef i would have waited. I have two wonderful boys out of it and i wouldnt give them up for anything, ever. I only regret that our family couldnt stay together. I grew up in a broken home and tried my damndest to keep it from happening to them. So in that respect i have failed them, and that is why i wish i had waited.

Its a personal choice as to when you marry, no one knows when, or can control who they will fall in love with, or when you will fall out of it. Age is only a number, i know kids that are more wise then old men, and old men that act more childish then the most spoiled brat.

[Savage]

Wow this threads doing well with the last sentence statements

[Mig]

Me and my gf have been together almost 4 years but I am sensible enough to know that we don't need to rush into marriage any time soon. We are far too young (I have just turned 22). She is training to become a nurse, so we will wait til she is done in 2 and a half years time. Then I believe you should always live with someone first, before thinking about marriage. Things are very different when you live together. We both feel the same way about it, so perhaps when I am in my mid-20's we will get married, which is what I always invisioned anyway. Either way, I have no doubts that I have found the right person, and she feels the same. Let's hope we're right. Life is unpredictable unfortunately, and when you are young, you can get caught up in love and do stupid things when you think you know everything about love.

[BritishBulldog1]

Mig, you are right when you say things a different when you live together, but don't for two minutes think that they won't change again when the marriage certificate arrives. That little piece of paper usually changes things beyond almost all recognition

BB1

[MidnightRider]

Not a truer word has been spoken BB.

[relax 1.0]

I understand what your saying BB1. That certificate can change alot of things. My parents got divorced 8 months after getting married, altough they were together for 12 years. Which is why, although me and my girlfriend are living together and have been for about 6 months, we intend not to get married until 22-25. Yeah, we have talked about it. With our parents too. Hopefully, when we get married, we would have been together for 8 years and living together for 6 years. If we feel that its not the right time to get married, we wont...why ruin something thats perfect?

[Alpha_Pasta]

I understand what your saying BB1. That certificate can change alot of things. My parents got divorced 8 months after getting married, altough they were together for 12 years. Which is why, although me and my girlfriend are living together and have been for about 6 months, we intend not to get married until 22-25. Yeah, we have talked about it. With our parents too. Hopefully, when we get married, we would have been together for 8 years and living together for 6 years. If we feel that its not the right time to get married, we wont...why ruin something thats perfect?

Thats true...marriage isn't the best option for everybody. My mum has friends who have been together for the same length as my parents (18-19 years) and they are not married.

[Savage]

why get married at all? If you dont get married it gives u more freedom.

[doughnut]

If you are that close with someone, and really feel that you want to spend the rest of your life with them because you love them so much, then you would want to marry them to make it official.

[relax 1.0]

Marriage is something that 'seals the deal'. Without it...you are fine...but with it you are complete.

[doughnut]

Good way of puting it.

[Mig]

why get married at all? If you dont get married it gives u more freedom.
The whole point of marriage is that you are making a commitment to someone - i.e. showing them that you don't want or need 'freedom', and that you want to be with them for the rest of your life.

[MidnightRider]

This is a rough subject. I personaly dont need a priest and a paper to tell me i want to spend the rest of my life with someone. For most women thou, that is a sign of your undieing devotion to her and her only. The way i see it, its just a way for you to get bent over a barrel if the relationship goes south. In todays day and age its not about the commitment to the person anymore. There is so much legal bs that gets involved with a marrage that the idea behind it has been burried under a pile of crap. I dont think marrage is being taken seriously by many ppl today.

There are a few thou, myself for example. I mairred my ex for the simple reason that i was happy with her for the most part. Every couple has their ups and downs, but we were pretty happy mostly. I was commited to her, but she made the decision that she was no longer happy. I feel bad for her now as her decision led her into a sorry state in life. She found out that the fellow she stepped out on me with is a loser in the worst way, and now she has found herself in a place that she regrets getting herself into.

Its a shame that us humans think we know what we want and give up a good thing for the next best thing. We often cant see the forest for the trees, as they say. Value you what you have, as tomorrow you may lose it.